The influx of the media in every home and its expectation to make life simpler than before has aptly been felt in the 21st Century. Yet, there are certain challenges which the media, with all of its power, is incapacitated in getting them ironed out. One of such is the bottlenecks within a marital home.
I know we’re all aware of the farcical story of most young men and women in love today? Normally, the kind of love affair lived nowadays isn’t much built on the pillars of sacrifice after falling for each other, on the footing of getting married. So to call each other’s attention is to get connected online, instead. It’s paradoxical to say that affection is now for sale on social media. Trading relationship issues on the internet belong to the Westerners, compared to how lovely our grandparents showed the pristine African love of being caring and sacrificial. That’s what we need, not the media love.
In a real African home, ladies confide mostly in their mother for advice to be proffered to them in matters torrential to their relationship. Possibly, to subvert any trauma they may be going through. Even so, disclosing such private information to her intimate friends wasn’t encouraged, because it was feared that, her best friends could capriciously outwit her. If a lady isn’t smart, her friend could downplay her, and take over what her right-hand poses. So why is it that, lately, we care less about people deepening their big pronounced tongues into our marital life, as we awash the media with issues which may have plagued our family? Is it for the sole reason of trending or, copying from those abroad?
The media isn’t doing marriages any good, to some extent. It has rather put marriages on the brink of collapsing. Ladies can’t say I’m sorry anymore and, men can’t look at their spouse’s face and say, I love you, or give kisses before leaving home. Today, couples have forgone these attributes of home-made love ingredients for the media to do it on their behalf. In the old age, when a man wrongs his spouse, he goes down on his knees and seeks pardon. So does a woman behaves mannerly towards her husband whenever she errs?
Instead of keeping our cultural heritage, we’re now giving the internet the power to do what it can’t even do. Imaging, a lady would deliberately update her status with this: “bae, I’m sorry”. Meanwhile, she hasn’t sought his forgiveness personally, but she’s assuming that her husband would give it a read and grant her request. Similarly, when a man is caught cheating on his woman, the wife wouldn’t confront him with the necessary queries to enquire. Immediately, you would see a clear description of the mishap on her media outlook, telling the whole world how sluggish the husband has become.
One of the factors, according to my understanding which could herald immaturity of a spouse is, if he or she is dared by self-esteem to update his media outlooks with an avalanche of displeasures whenever they’re having bad times.
Relationships should be sacred and private but not sacrilegious because it turns to be inimical to mutual respect and consent. Ordinarily, on the eve of the marriage consummation, one is told to keep his marriage life private by the ‘white-bearded men’, for the fear of snitches! So you may be paranoiac if you think social media is the right tool to be used in addressing the loopholes in your marriage or relationship. I believe that the same people might be yearning for your failure unknowingly. Save yourself, and don’t be swindled by the likes you get on social media.
When bad issues start emerging after marriage, confront it vehemently. Inform your partner about whatever is getting you pissed or worried. If it demands counseling, get a counselor. If it needs medical attention, the doctors are there. And if it’s prayers that you require, pray for divine intervention. But diffusing it on your media outlooks without paying attention to the aforementioned pragmatic measures, it’s like playing with a sharp knife and at the same time asking whether it can chop off your flesh.
Sarah and Ibrahim (as) were constrained to the most difficult tribulations as couples, and as matured as they were, they kept it confidential and did what man and woman ought to do before a child is conceived. Their focal points were to pray to God and trust in His promise. What emerged afterward; isn’t it a swift transition from childlessness to a father of all nations? It’s better to be solace in times of hardship, when in a relationship than to cry on various media platforms for your tears to be wiped off. If social media hadn’t come to bear, were would your agitation be registered?
Source: wadataOnline.com/Abdur Rahman Odoi